Struggling

I don't remember struggling as much as I am now when Porter was born.  Everything will be going fine and then I find myself crying and sad.  David has been around a lot to help with Porter and around the house.  It has been a great blessing, but it has also left me feeling sad as I watch my relationship with Porter change.  That little man was my buddy day in and day out, but now we never have one on one time.  I don't put him down for naps or bed anymore.  I'm not the one who usually gets up with him at the crack of dawn anymore (it's crazy that I am sad about this one:)).  David now mans mealtime and outdoor playtime.  Transitioning my love and attention to caring for two boys is so much harder than I'd anticipated.  Time with the two and regularity to our lives will help me to figure out how to balance and create a new normal.  My heart is just a little broken now. 

I do love our little Jonas and we are getting lots of bonding time, I just miss Porter.