Last Day of School (6/5/19)

Today was Porter's last day of school.  On Monday of this week when I watched him walking home from school, I was struck by how quickly the year had gone.  I wasn't necessarily emotional about him finishing first grade, but as I joined all the other students, parents and faculty "clapping out" the sixth grade class, I definitely became a little emotional.  I'm sure it didn't help that I was standing next to Adrianne who was watching her last child graduate from elementary school.  And I had just talked with Adrianne about how she was feeling about the whole experience.
Then all the sixth graders said the Pledge of Allegiance one last time.
Porter has definitely had some highs and some lows during his kindergarten year.  He has made friends and lost friends.  His first friend was Luci.  He wrote about her near the beginning of the year, but at some point their friendship changed.  According to Porter one day she said he couldn't play with her.  Then there was about a month and a half where things were rough between him and Luci.  He didn't want to go to school anymore.  He was constantly talking about it and dissecting everything she did or said.  Fortunately, he was able to move through that phase and ended up having fun at the end and making a great friend in Scotty Pickett.  They both love to read and to read Harry Potter, so it seems like they bonded over this.
Throughout the year Porter lost 4 teeth, became an excellent reader, enhanced his writing skills so his writing is much for legible and developed his understanding of math concepts.  Although he says he didn't learn anything at school, I can definitely see his growth over the year.  We will miss his teacher, Mrs. Emily Ward.  David and I have grown fond of her and her husband Davis.  Hopefully we'll maintain a friendship with them.
After school today we celebrated by joining lots of friends at the Quigley's for popsicles and then heading back to our place to have water balloon/gun fights and eat more popsicles.  We had several friends over to play too.  We played for hours and the kids loved it.  Us parents relaxed in the shade.
The Mitchell's, Zech's, Wible's, Kirry's, Brown's and a new friend, Kasey and her kids, all joined in the fun.  It was the perfect last day of school.
Yesterday they had a field day in the morning.  It was so much fun.  There were several stations and the kids rotated through in groups.  There were large blow up waterslides, slip n slides and a maze.  There were "bird sprayers" (water guns in the shape of a bird), pool noodles and bean bag tosses.  Mason and Jonas even joined in on some of the fun.  I decided I want to rent a huge blow up water slide and invite a lot of friends over to play.  Now I just have to figure out where to put it.  My yard is not that big. But, the kids would have hours of fun.

Porter is excited to be a first grader.  Now we just have to figure out how to get through summer and all survive!

5/29/19

Today I listened to a podcast with Jodi Moore from Better than Happy.  The podcast was titled, "Obedience".  She had just spoken at BYU Women's Conference, so she shared a recap of what she spoke about there.  She talked about disobedience and how guilt is a motivator to change, but when we allow it to morph into shame, it actually holds us back.  She told a story of how she was on a business trip and was at the airport and needed to head up an escalator.  Their was a sign that said those with luggage should take the elevator, but once she saw others heading up the escalator with their luggage, she decided to go up too.  She had two roll away bags, a larger one and a smaller one.  As she went to go up, she got caught and fell backwards on her bags.  Once she got up, she realized that the bags were larger than the entrance to the escalator.  And when she was getting pulled backwards by the bags, she didn't let go of them.  She held on tight.  She related this to repenting.  During this time she had been going through the repentance process and was not feeling the weight being lifted off her like she thought she could.  As she thought about this experience on the escalator, she realized that the moment she had gone to her bishop to repent, that Heavenly Father had forgiven her.  She was the one holding herself back, holding onto the past and not moving forward.  She said the escalator was bringing her up from the basement into the light, but she allowed the bags to hold her back.

She talked a lot about shame and how shame makes us hide and do things in secret.  It tells us we aren't worthy and makes us wonder about our worth.  We think how could we make this mistake, why would we make a mistake.  People don't do this.

I thought a lot about my past.  I have often felt overwhelming shame.  I have wondered why I would ever have made the mistakes I did.  How does someone like me that had the knowledge I have, do the things I did?  Thinking about these things has actually kept me up at night.  As I listened to Jodi talk about these things today, I was moved to tears.  I feel like the shame I have felt has kept me from moving forward.  Satan keeps me down whenever I look backwards and dwell on who I was, not who I am.

Today was a beautiful day.  The boys and I spent so much time outside enjoying the cool, sunny weather.  We had a picnic, the boys road bikes and dug for bugs.  We watched the landscapers redoing the neighbors yard.  I chatted with Grandma Jones and Rashna.  The boys went to Graham Knight's birthday party and Mason and I took a walk until it started raining really hard on us.
Tonight the older boys went with David to deliver flowers with the youth and then Mason and I joined later to play outside and eat cake and ice cream.

Memorial Day (5/27/19)

The boys ALL slept in until 8:30 ish.  That never happens.  But, obviously they needed it.  I got to have a few quiet hours to myself in the am.  We went up to Snowpine Lodge in Alta to spend time with our friend's, the Pratt's.  Dave's family owns the lodge, so he invited a bunch of people up there to stay the night and hang out the next day.  We did go up the night before, but we spent all day there. We swam, played toys, played in the arcade, chatted and ate lunch.  The boys had fun all day and it was great to catch up with the Pratt's.  It was supposed to rain/snow, but the weather ended up being perfect.  And swimming with the snowcapped mountains surrounding you was beautiful.
Mason loved playing the Skee ball machine and he threw the balls over and over again.  If he actually made it over the hump, whether or not he got any points, he'd say, "Yes!".
All the boys loved the arcade and Porter would have stayed there all day if we let him.
We devoured fries and burgers from the restaurant for lunch and I'm pretty sure it was a perfect day for the boys.

Careful versus Casual (5/26/19)

Our lesson during RS was on a talk from conference, Careful versus Casual.  The talk was given by Becky Craven.  It was interesting to hear people's thoughts, but most interesting to reflect upon my own life.  In what ways am I too casual with those things that matter most.  As I've been reading the Come Follow Me material, it has begun to talk about the Second Coming and how even some of the elect will be deceived.  For me, I think some of my deception will come in allow myself to become too casual, but thinking I am okay.
During class individuals were talking about not to do things out of fear.  Alex Price spoke in Sacrament Meeting and she mentioned a quote about how those that are obedient will receive blessings, but those that are exactly obedient will see miracles.  I thought about this quote a lot during the lesson.  I feel like the same applies to be careful versus casual.  If I read my scriptures to check off the box, I'm sure there are blessings I receive, but the miracle of pondering and feasting upon the words will be missed.
To me, being careful means: thoughtful, intentional, deliberate, choosing.  This applies to how I pray, read my scriptures, treat others, treat my relationships, attend the temple, serve and share the gospel, fulfill my callings, etc.  It is more than just being a "good" or "kind" person.  I remember hearing a friend years ago say that she just wanted her kids to grow up and be kind.  I would love this also, but I want more than that for my kids.  Them being kind should be a product of their relationship with their Heavenly Father and our Savior.  This relationship will develop from "careful" choices and actions throughout their lives.  I want them to know who they are are and to see the gifts that they have been given.  Then to use those gifts to do His work.
Am I being the example of this to my kids?  I don't think so.  I have a lot to think about a work on so that I am not deceived.  So that I am ready when the Savior comes again.  I want to be.

5/25/19

Today was a great day!  The weather was warmer and it was SUNNY! We’ve had so much rain lately, so we spent s lot of time outside today.
While I was at the gym, David and Porter cleaned the fridge! It looks so good.
We picked peonies, filled vases and delivered flowers to friends and neighbors.  We met and chatted for awhile with a neighbor down the street, Cindy.
During our flower delivery we dropped by the Murdock’s and checked out the duck sitting on her eggs in their backyard.
Ollie and Jonas played.  David did yard work.  Porter played at the Kirry’s and Mason and I hung out in the front yard at Grandma Jones’s with Heidi and Connor Wible.  It was so relaxing and a perfect Saturday.
Barbie (Griffis) called me to come help. She’s about 12 weeks pregnant and so sick.  She was just started on an IV around the clock.  I have been wondering how I can help besides having Ollie over as much as I can.  So, when she was having problems with her IV, I got to help fix the problem.  I was so glad to see her, tell her I love her and help do a few things for her.  Now I know what’s going on, so I plan to stop by more regularly and know what other things I can help with.
Yesterday, Heidi Wible watched Mason and Jonas so I could go to the temple.  It was wonderful to be there and when I came home Mason and Jonas played so well together for about an hour and while they did, I was able to read the Ensign and start read a book about symbols.  After being in the temple, I had a desire to study more about temples and some of the specific things that were talked about during the initiatory.
Tonight we invited friends and neighbors over for a last minute bonfire and s’mores roasting.  The weather was perfect and the kids played their little hearts out.  And surprisingly, despite the large amount of kids, there were minimal tears and lots of having fun.  I kind of didn’t want to do it because I wanted to prepare for Sunday, but we were still able to get everything ready once people left.  I am now ready for the Sabbath day and it feels great.