August 1st, 2021

Where does the time go?  I have been writing little short blips in a paper journal, but there is so much more I can get out if I type.  Today is Sunday.  Sacrament meeting was fantastic and I taught Sunday school.  I loved getting to prepare and study D&C Sec 84.  This section could be studied for weeks and months and still feel like I was just scratching the surface.  Seeing how all the dots connect, how God's plan is laid out from the foundation of the world and is deliberate.

Tonight there was a big thunder storm.  We have needed the rain and Jonas decided to run outside in it.  Once he came back inside, Jonas, Mason and Porter and I curled up by the window and watched the rain and talked.  Brooks was already asleep, so we really got to talk with no distractions.  We talked about the word of wisdom.  The boys asked questions and I answered.  

Then Mason was ready for bed, so I took him into his room and the next thing I know I'm telling him about what's going on with the baby right now.  This obviously intrigued the other boys so they all gathered around to figure out that the baby is about the size of my closed fist, it has reflexes now and it's developed it's gender parts.  From this conversation somehow we started reading my old blog entries.  We were laughing and the boys loved to hear about themselves.  As I read through them, I was reminded of why I blogged.   It was to record their stories, to remember their sweet personalities and mannerisms and it was to record my feelings, experiences and spiritual experiences.  I really need to get back into the habit.  There is power that comes from reading my own testimony that I'd forgotten I'd written years ago.  And hopefully one day my boys will read it too and know that knew my Savior and loved him.  

I am 13 1/2 weeks pregnant.  I should find out this week if we're having a girl or a boy.  My heart wants the chance to raise a sweet little girl, but if not, we will love and adore another boy.  It will be interesting to see how the dynamics in our family continue to change.  

Last night we had dinner with Kumeh, HehReh and Paul and Irene Torres.  Kumeh and Hehreh are refugees from Burma.  They have been here since 2009.  She was in the refugee camp from 1996 until 2009 and he was there from 1989 until 2009.  They both arrived in the refugee camp when they were 11.  Hehreh was all alone and Kumeh went with her family.  Their story is remarkable.  A few months after they arrived in Salt Lake, the missionaries knocked on the door.  It was their first introduction to our church.  They were baptized and I love that know in their home, prominently displayed, is a picture of the Salt Lake Temple and our Savior, Jesus Christ.  

Mason (4/1/21)

 Mason and I went skiing today.   After we were done, or at least when Mason said he was done :), he wanted to hang out in the car chatting and snacking.  One of the first things he said was, “Do you dare me to put my foot out the window without my sock on?  You’re going to have to inside out it.”  (In reference to his sock).

He is a joy and I love his sweetness and silliness.

I've been told 100 times... (2/24/21)

Jonas had a school assignment for the 100th day of school to write and draw a picture of something he's been told 100 times.  He wrote: "Don't jump on the couch."

Then I thought it would be fun to ask Mason the same question.  He said, "I love you."  I was hoping that is what our boys would say and remember.  Then tonight I was telling David about this and Mason said, "You tell me that every day."  

We sure do love our boys a lot.  

And Brooksie is learning to give real, both arms around the neck, hugs.  He'll also hug your leg or hug around his brothers stomach.  I love it so much.  His lean his head in hugs or back into you hugs were cute too, but there is nothing like a real hug from such a little person.

Tonight when I was putting Brooks to bed, I asked him several of his body parts.  He knows: eyes, nose, mouth, teeth, ears, head, hands, arms and toes.  He might know more, but that's the ones we talked about.  I started to teach him knees.  And he doesn't quite have tummy yet, maybe that's because sometimes we call it his stomach.

Hear Him (2/21/21)

After dinner this evening David extended an invitation for me to speak in church about how we prepare to Hear Him.  We talk a lot about how we hear, but not how we prepare.  We were talking a little bit about it and then I heard Brooks crying in the basement, so I went down to get him and he was carrying a little statue of Jesus.  As I brought him upstairs, I said something along the lines of, "Can you give Jesus a hug?"  Well, we know that Brooks' natural tendency when he gives hugs is to lean his head in.  This time he put the statue of Jesus next to his cheek and then on the back of his neck.  Mason said, "He's trying to Hear Him!"  We have definitely used this phrase "Hear Him" a lot lately.  So I thought it was super sweet that Mason assumed that is what Brooks was doing.  

It's interesting that I have been asked to speak on this topic because just today I was studying an article on the church website called, "Recovering from Spiritual Numbness", by Tadeo Murillo.  The boys were actually playing really great in the basement and Brooks had gone down for his nap, so I took advantage of the quiet time to read and study.

There were three questions asked:

When was the last time I received personal revelation?

When was the last time I asked for personal revelation?

When was the last time I asked Heavenly Father to to help me recognize personal revelation in my life?

These are a few other notes I took from the article:

proactively seek revelation in your daily life

turn to Him in every thought (D&C 6:36)

"As you obey, the impressions from the Spirit will come more frequently becoming closer and closer to constant companionship.  Your power to choose the right will increase." - President Eyring

He also gave things to do to prepare:

Believe

Put in daily effort

Obey

Continue On, Endure to the End (2/7/2021)

During Sacrament meeting today, Bill Bleak talked about how there are things going on in the world today and that we need to continue on.  Don't stop in the middle, finish what has been started.  

As he was talking my mind starting thing about the concept of continuing on and my thoughts turned to Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane.  In this instance, He shows us the way to continue on, to endure to the end even when it's hard and we might want to quit.  During the mist of His enduring, He reaches out to our Father, His Father.  He asks for the cup to pass, but says, "nevertheless, thy will be done."  During the midst of His trial and after reaching out to Heavenly Father, He receives an angel to strengthen Him.  Part of the process of enduring is this connection to God, but it's also looking for and seeing the angels that He sends in our own lives.  There will be trials in our life that we have to endure and then there is just enduring until we are called home.  I remember working at a retirement home and having conversation with one of the residents that was in her 90's.  She said, "I wish the world would stop turning and let me off."  I kind of chuckled about this.  But, when your spouse has passed on, maybe most of your friends and family have too, your body is tired and maybe you can't do a lot of the things that you used to do, you are lonely and ready to go home.  Heavenly Father asks us to endure.  I can think of individuals in our ward that are now the only active member of their family.  I've seen some end up leaving the church themselves and others that endure on.  They are there every Sunday.  They join our zoom RS and they participate.  They have faith and hope and they keep on.  

I watched a devotional tonight about Choosing Hope.  It is a deliberate choice each day that we make.  Enduring does not always have to be a long, painful process.