Cam had thrown up today and yesterday, so I kept him home from church while I dropped the other 4 boys off at church with Gayle. While watching Sacrament meeting, Donna McInelly bore her testimony. In all my years in this ward, I can't ever remember her doing this before. As I sat listening to her sweet testimony and talking about how she knew God was aware of her and walking with their family during this time, I felt a gentle reprimand from the spirit and cried as I thought about the impressions I had felt during this past month or so. Until recently Donna, her husband, daughter (Brandy) and grandson have been living together. Within the recent past her husband has been placed in a care home, but I wasn't aware of this.
During two of my morning runs, I had the impression to run by her house. The name that kept coming to mind was Brandy. I have never met Brandy and do not know much about her. I was wondering, what am I supposed to do when I run by her house at 6am?! The first impression I tried to shake off, but eventually changed directions until I ended up in front of their house. I stood in front of it for several minutes trying to figure out what I needed to do. As I'd been running over there I wondered if maybe Brandy would be leaving for work or somehow I'd run into her. Not that I had any idea what I'd say. There were lights on in the house, but I could not work up the courage to knock on the front door. After I'd been standing there, I noticed movement on the front porch which startled me and I ran off. The next time I ran by I also didn't knock on the door. As I'd think about Brandy, I wondered if maybe I was just supposed to tell her that God was aware of her and that He loves her.
I also talked with David earlier this weekend about inviting the McInelly's over for dinner, but made no definitive plans and extended no invitation.
So, as I listened to Donna speak in church today, I knew that I had not acted. Following a prompting is not always easy. It takes courage to act. Heavenly Father was teaching me today that I need to do better. There is work He has for me to do, but He needs me to act even if I don't know exactly what I will be doing or what the outcome will be.
This reminded me of how someone followed a prompting that blessed me and our family. Adrianne showed up at my front door. She was nervous (which is not normal for her). Then she told me that every morning she prays to know who she can help. That day my name had come into her mind. As she stood at my door, she asked me if there was something I needed help with. My mind drew a blank. Then she said, if you can't think of anything, I have a suggestion. Earlier in the week we had been running together and I had told her David's parents were coming in town and planning to stay with us. After Kayla had moved out, I tried to clean that basement shower, but didn't put much effort in because it was going to be torn our during our remodel. So, it had been left unclean and unused for several months. It would be the bathroom David's parents would use while in town, so I thought I should clean it. Well, Adrianne offered to clean it. She went above and beyond cleaning it and preparing it so that it would be a comfortable place for David's parents. We talked later about the courage it took for her to knock of my door and the courage it takes to accept her offer.
I had been studying a talk by Elder Bednar about the characters of Christ. He pointed out that in the word character is the word ACT. Christ was a man of action and that is a characteristic that I need to develop. There are random promptings that I receive all the time and I need to start doing something about them. I need to be very deliberate when a thought comes because it is very easy to justify all the reasons why we shouldn't do something or if I don't act immediately, I'll get distracted and forget.
Thankfully Heavenly Father is patient with me and continues to work with me.
