Brooks (11/19/21)

Tonight as I sat by Brooks and sang to him before bed, I was overcome with love for this little man.  He is such a joy and a character.  He is definitely a lot of work, but I could not imagine our world without him.  His favorite songs are: I Like to Look for Rainbows and I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus.  He loves Jesus and notices every picture of Him.  When he folds his arms for prayer it is so precious and he squeezes his eyes closed tight.  When we drive by church buildings he often yells either church or temple depending on how big it is.  He knows who "Prophet Nelson" is and recognizes his picture.  He counts to 10 and sometimes beyond, although he might miss a number.  He also counts down to zero. He loves to tease, be tossed, run around, dance to music the second it comes on.  He'll also sit at the piano and play.  Most of the time he plays with just a finger or two and doesn't pound.  He's definitely watching his brothers play.  

All the neighbor kids love him and sometimes will ask to play with just him.  The girls even ask if they can "babysit" him.  Usually he'll tell them "no way" or "go away", but sometimes he'll go swing or jump on the trampoline with them.  He loves our neighbor Thomas and his mom, Sara.  He'll yell out the window at them when he sees them.  

His still loves his momma best and wants me to put him to bed every night, but he has started going places with David and hanging out with David more.  

Today I took him shopping and I couldn't keep him in the shopping cart.  We were in the make up aisle and he'd pull things off the shelf and say, "Buy this."  Unfortunately he is not super easy to shop with, but if I wasn't in a hurry, I'm sure it would be a lot more fun :).

I love watching him dance, sing, run and laugh.  Lately Mason and him having been playing dress up when the boys are at school.  They both get in their super hero costumes and "battle".  He will say "punch", "kick", etc as he does those actions.  

My life is full because of these boys.  Tonight we had Rebekah Barlow over to make homemade corndogs and french fries.  Then we all played games.  The spirit was in our home and there was minimal contention.  Everyone enjoyed themselves and it was a piece of heaven on earth.  I love this family of ours.

Jonas (8/27/2021)

 Jonas got through his first week of school and did great.  After day one, he made friends and has played with people at recess.  He says first grade isn't so bad.  I am so, so glad that he has found people to connect and play with.  This is definitely an answer to prayer.

Tonight Jonas and I went on a date.  It was so fun to spend time with him and hear him chatter non stop.  We tried Coldstone because he's never been there before.  He ordered peach yogurt with gummy bears.  I was surprised by his choice of ice cream.  

We talked about school, the kids in his class, and then I told him that I had realized earlier in the day that my jeans had holes in them.  But, I'd forgotten to change them before we went out, so I was hoping no one could see my underwear.  Earlier in the day, I had walked by Pres and Julie Hall.  Jonas said, "Who cares if they see your underwear.  They already know what it looks like.  They wear the same ones."  "I guess some people might wear underwear with hearts all over it."  Then we started talking about garments and why we wear them.  I told him they remind us of covenants we have made with Heavenly Father.  He said, "So, you pull out your pants and look at your underwear so you can remember your covenants?"  That made me chuckle.   He is such a funny kid. 

We also went to the pet store and checked out any animals they had.  He walked and talked and held my hand the whole time.  It was so sweet.  He really wants a pet.  Every time he saw one he wanted, he check out the price and then say, "I can afford that."  

Tonight while we were reading the scriptures, Jonas started us out with 1 Ne 1:1.  We are starting over again.  He read the entire verse perfectly.  No hesitation with words, no sounding out the words.  It was so impressive.  I had not realized how good his reading had become.  So fun to watch our children learn to read, read and then love it.

Jonas talked about how he feels good when he reads the scriptures.  He recognizes that this is the spirit.

First day of School 2021-2022 School Year (8/24/2021)

Today was the first day of school for Jonas and Porter.  Jonas started 1st grade with Ms Gianelo and technically this is his first year of going in person because of the pandemic.  Porter started 3rd grade with Mr Johnson.

Before today Porter was really concerned about Mr Johnson.  He had interactions with him during 1st grade and he was positive that Mr Johnson was mean.  We had several people recommend that I request him for Porter.  They said he was a fabulous teacher and they all loved him.  After learning a bit about him, I also felt like he would be a great fit for Porter. Well, when we picked him up from school he said his day was great and he loved Mr Johnson!  He said he was funny and he learned more today than he had learned in other classes.  

Porter had also been nervous before today because he said he forgot what it was like to go to school.  David said Porter's last parting words to him when he dropped him off were, "People remember me."  I think he thought since he wasn't at Beacon last year that maybe the kids wouldn't remember him.  I'm so glad that he had a great day and I know this will be a fantastic year for him.

Jonas did not seem as nervous for school today, but when I picked him up after school and asked him about his day, he said, "I didn't make any friends."  That broke my heart.  I thought about the Father's blessing David had given him that he would make a friend this year that would be a friend for life.  Then tonight while we were reading in the Friend at bedtime, I had the thought that maybe a friend that he would make this year that would be a friend for life was Heavenly Father.  We were reading a story about a kid that prayed and knew Heavenly Father heard and answered her prayers.  I told him about my thought.  I hope that he makes friends at school, but I loved the thought that he would develop a relationship with Heavenly Father that would last through out his life.  

I love my boys.  I'm grateful that Porter had such a great day and I hope and pray that Jonas will make a friend.  He is so tender and observant.  I'm sure he sat back and watched the kids play.  Unfortunately he isn't as great at making the initial connection.  This is something I hope I can help him figure out so that he can build confidence in his ability to make friends and be a friend.

Today Jonas had to fill out an About Me page.  One of the questions asked him to list his best friends.  He crossed that question out.  As a mom I wish I could help him make a friend at school, but I'm not there.  I'll have to figure out another way to get him engaged and connected.

While the older boys were at school, I enjoyed Mason and Brooks.  We played outside a bit and Mason showed me how fast and good he is on the scooter.  Brooks ran around and kept ringing Tamara's doorbell!

We met Ashley for lunch at her work downtown.  They had a few food trucks in the parking lot.  Everyone was so kind to the boys and I.  They gave us a food voucher so we didn't even have to buy our own food and then the ice cream truck worker asked if she could give the boys ice cream.  It was so sweet.  Mason and I had talk about how when people are kind and generous, you are inspired to be kind and generous also.  Then we talked about the ways that people were kind and generous there.  Mason brought up that Tamara Evans was kind and generous because she invited us to her cabin and let us ride her horses yesterday.  I love that he made the connection.

August 1st, 2021

Where does the time go?  I have been writing little short blips in a paper journal, but there is so much more I can get out if I type.  Today is Sunday.  Sacrament meeting was fantastic and I taught Sunday school.  I loved getting to prepare and study D&C Sec 84.  This section could be studied for weeks and months and still feel like I was just scratching the surface.  Seeing how all the dots connect, how God's plan is laid out from the foundation of the world and is deliberate.

Tonight there was a big thunder storm.  We have needed the rain and Jonas decided to run outside in it.  Once he came back inside, Jonas, Mason and Porter and I curled up by the window and watched the rain and talked.  Brooks was already asleep, so we really got to talk with no distractions.  We talked about the word of wisdom.  The boys asked questions and I answered.  

Then Mason was ready for bed, so I took him into his room and the next thing I know I'm telling him about what's going on with the baby right now.  This obviously intrigued the other boys so they all gathered around to figure out that the baby is about the size of my closed fist, it has reflexes now and it's developed it's gender parts.  From this conversation somehow we started reading my old blog entries.  We were laughing and the boys loved to hear about themselves.  As I read through them, I was reminded of why I blogged.   It was to record their stories, to remember their sweet personalities and mannerisms and it was to record my feelings, experiences and spiritual experiences.  I really need to get back into the habit.  There is power that comes from reading my own testimony that I'd forgotten I'd written years ago.  And hopefully one day my boys will read it too and know that knew my Savior and loved him.  

I am 13 1/2 weeks pregnant.  I should find out this week if we're having a girl or a boy.  My heart wants the chance to raise a sweet little girl, but if not, we will love and adore another boy.  It will be interesting to see how the dynamics in our family continue to change.  

Last night we had dinner with Kumeh, HehReh and Paul and Irene Torres.  Kumeh and Hehreh are refugees from Burma.  They have been here since 2009.  She was in the refugee camp from 1996 until 2009 and he was there from 1989 until 2009.  They both arrived in the refugee camp when they were 11.  Hehreh was all alone and Kumeh went with her family.  Their story is remarkable.  A few months after they arrived in Salt Lake, the missionaries knocked on the door.  It was their first introduction to our church.  They were baptized and I love that know in their home, prominently displayed, is a picture of the Salt Lake Temple and our Savior, Jesus Christ.  

Mason (4/1/21)

 Mason and I went skiing today.   After we were done, or at least when Mason said he was done :), he wanted to hang out in the car chatting and snacking.  One of the first things he said was, “Do you dare me to put my foot out the window without my sock on?  You’re going to have to inside out it.”  (In reference to his sock).

He is a joy and I love his sweetness and silliness.

I've been told 100 times... (2/24/21)

Jonas had a school assignment for the 100th day of school to write and draw a picture of something he's been told 100 times.  He wrote: "Don't jump on the couch."

Then I thought it would be fun to ask Mason the same question.  He said, "I love you."  I was hoping that is what our boys would say and remember.  Then tonight I was telling David about this and Mason said, "You tell me that every day."  

We sure do love our boys a lot.  

And Brooksie is learning to give real, both arms around the neck, hugs.  He'll also hug your leg or hug around his brothers stomach.  I love it so much.  His lean his head in hugs or back into you hugs were cute too, but there is nothing like a real hug from such a little person.

Tonight when I was putting Brooks to bed, I asked him several of his body parts.  He knows: eyes, nose, mouth, teeth, ears, head, hands, arms and toes.  He might know more, but that's the ones we talked about.  I started to teach him knees.  And he doesn't quite have tummy yet, maybe that's because sometimes we call it his stomach.

Hear Him (2/21/21)

After dinner this evening David extended an invitation for me to speak in church about how we prepare to Hear Him.  We talk a lot about how we hear, but not how we prepare.  We were talking a little bit about it and then I heard Brooks crying in the basement, so I went down to get him and he was carrying a little statue of Jesus.  As I brought him upstairs, I said something along the lines of, "Can you give Jesus a hug?"  Well, we know that Brooks' natural tendency when he gives hugs is to lean his head in.  This time he put the statue of Jesus next to his cheek and then on the back of his neck.  Mason said, "He's trying to Hear Him!"  We have definitely used this phrase "Hear Him" a lot lately.  So I thought it was super sweet that Mason assumed that is what Brooks was doing.  

It's interesting that I have been asked to speak on this topic because just today I was studying an article on the church website called, "Recovering from Spiritual Numbness", by Tadeo Murillo.  The boys were actually playing really great in the basement and Brooks had gone down for his nap, so I took advantage of the quiet time to read and study.

There were three questions asked:

When was the last time I received personal revelation?

When was the last time I asked for personal revelation?

When was the last time I asked Heavenly Father to to help me recognize personal revelation in my life?

These are a few other notes I took from the article:

proactively seek revelation in your daily life

turn to Him in every thought (D&C 6:36)

"As you obey, the impressions from the Spirit will come more frequently becoming closer and closer to constant companionship.  Your power to choose the right will increase." - President Eyring

He also gave things to do to prepare:

Believe

Put in daily effort

Obey

Continue On, Endure to the End (2/7/2021)

During Sacrament meeting today, Bill Bleak talked about how there are things going on in the world today and that we need to continue on.  Don't stop in the middle, finish what has been started.  

As he was talking my mind starting thing about the concept of continuing on and my thoughts turned to Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane.  In this instance, He shows us the way to continue on, to endure to the end even when it's hard and we might want to quit.  During the mist of His enduring, He reaches out to our Father, His Father.  He asks for the cup to pass, but says, "nevertheless, thy will be done."  During the midst of His trial and after reaching out to Heavenly Father, He receives an angel to strengthen Him.  Part of the process of enduring is this connection to God, but it's also looking for and seeing the angels that He sends in our own lives.  There will be trials in our life that we have to endure and then there is just enduring until we are called home.  I remember working at a retirement home and having conversation with one of the residents that was in her 90's.  She said, "I wish the world would stop turning and let me off."  I kind of chuckled about this.  But, when your spouse has passed on, maybe most of your friends and family have too, your body is tired and maybe you can't do a lot of the things that you used to do, you are lonely and ready to go home.  Heavenly Father asks us to endure.  I can think of individuals in our ward that are now the only active member of their family.  I've seen some end up leaving the church themselves and others that endure on.  They are there every Sunday.  They join our zoom RS and they participate.  They have faith and hope and they keep on.  

I watched a devotional tonight about Choosing Hope.  It is a deliberate choice each day that we make.  Enduring does not always have to be a long, painful process.  

1/27/2021- Updates on the boys

Brooks is growing bigger. He is starting to babble a ton and it is so fun to hear his sweet little voice.  And every once in a while he shock us and say something.  The other night I was putting him to bed and I said, "Tell Dadda night, night."  Then to our surprise, he busted out, "Ni, Ni" while waving.  Tonight at dinner he asked for cheese and the other day David is positive that he said chicken.  Either way, we are both waiting for him to consistently start talking to us.  With his little babbling, I wonder what he is trying to tell us.  The only thing he regularly says is, "Up!".  And when he says it he pretty much yells it.  He also periodically yells, "MOM!"  He did this one Sunday during church :).  Brooks has also started giving hugs.  Like, a real hug.  Not just the lean his head in or back into you so you can hug him.  He mostly gives these hugs to Mason, Jonas and a cute little girl, Avery, that is a month younger than him.  He loves to give her hugs and church and it's about the cutest thing.  They both give each other the biggest full body hug.  Their first hug ended with them both on the ground on top of each other.  There was a lot of love in that hug. 

Jonas had his 6 year check up on 1/4/2021.

Ht 44.8" (113.8 cm) | Wt 19.4 kg (42 lb 12.8 oz) | BMI 14.99 kg/m²

Mason had his 4 year check up on 1/4/2021.

Ht 41.6" (105.7 cm) | Wt 16.3 kg (35 lb 14.4 oz) | BMI 14.59 kg/m²

During Mason's appt he was sobbing. He did not want Dr. Smith to examine him at all and then he cried a ton before he got his shots. I had to hold him down which is the worst, but I always know it's going to be fast and then he won't have to get shots again for a while.

David has been taking the boys skiing these past two weeks. Mason has gone twice and it's his first time ever going. He has loved it. His personality is pretty easy going as long as he doesn't get upset. Then watch out, fiery pants will bust out.

Jonas was able to ski without David's help today for the first time. He was nervous, but he did it! I'm so excited for him. He just needs to gain a little more confidence and he'll be great. I wish I could watch them all ski. David is better for when they are learning because I am not great at all and I haven't been up in a few years.

David and I have been seeing a therapist, Natalie to help us parent Porter and to help Porter figure out some healthy coping skills and to manage his big emotions. It originally started as appoints for Porter, but the therapist has been so helpful for David and I. Today we saw a child psychologist for Porter and I think he's going to be fantastic. He definitely understands working with gifted children, so I have great hopes for him to help Porter. It was great to talk with someone that understands the difficulty with parenting a child like Porter. Porter is a gem of a kid. He's definitely one of a kind and figuring out how to parent him without getting frustrated myself or constantly feeling like we're in a battle has been challenging. But, I'm not going to give up. There is a lot I need to work on with developing appropriate boundaries. I hope I can do it.

Family History 1/17/21

During church today, Ray Wagstaff gave a talk on family history work.  I wish I had written down my thoughts while listening because I was really inspired.  There was no guilt trip about how much you've done or not done, it was a beautiful talk of encouragement and excitement for the work.  I realize that I waste a lot of time doing things that are not productive.  My time could be filled with work like this that is meaningful and necessary.  So here's to trying harder to work on family history.  And, some of this family history work begins with me working on my own journal.  He spoke about his family and their experience during the Influenza outbreak in the early 1900's.  He said there were no records of their experiences and he wished there were.  

We are currently going through a pandemic and I hope that my children and future generations will be able to look back and understand or see a picture of our experience.

To be honest, I have not hated the pandemic the same way that others have.  Has it been a long and I hope for no more mask wearing and a little more freedom to move about, return to gathering both in our home and at church.  Of course.  But, overall I have loved not feeling the need to fill up my day going places.  I am a homebody.  I like to go out and see things and try new things, but sometimes taking all 4 of the boys is overwhelming, especially if there is a meltdown, so staying home has been nice.  I prefer a slower pace of life.  I like to enjoy sitting outside, talking with neighbors or friends that pass by, playing with the boys or listening to the sounds of the boys playing together or with friends outside.  I enjoy having David home a lot more and so do the boys.  Playing a more active role in the boys education has been challenging at times, but overall I love that I get to see what they are learning and help with projects or assignments that might have normally been done in class. I love that during all this we got chickens and we are learning so much about chickens and caring for them.  I loved that we are prepared to worship at home together as a family.

The biggest thing I have not enjoyed about the pandemic is how it has divided people and there is suffering whether it be financially, emotionally or physically.  Personally we have been blessed to not have personal suffering specifically related to the pandemic, but I know there are many that do.  I wish that myself and others could be better and respecting one another and our personal views about the pandemic and how we are handling things.  It has been interesting to see how Satan has used so many things this past year to divide and anger us against each other.  We've seen it was we watch varying opinions about the pandemic and the handling of issues related to it.  We've seen it through the rioting.  We've seen it through the election.  I hope for a more concerted effort to be peacemakers and unifiers.  

Happy 45th Birthday David! (1/17/21)

We celebrated David turning 45 on Friday (1/15/21).  It is incredible to watch how much our boys adore their dad. He is their hero, best friend, teacher and greatest cheerleader.  So, celebrating him was so exciting for them.  When I asked Mason what he wanted to give David as a gift, without hesitation, he replied, "I want to wrap up myself because Dad always says I'm his greatest gift." How special that a sweet little 4 year old boy knows that his dad loves him that much.  So, I wrapped up Mason and Jonas so that David could open them first.  We are blessed to have David in our lives.  Our entire house is blessed by the person that he strives to become each day.  He is patient with me and always encouraging me to grow.  His ability to connect and teach our boys in deep, yet understandable ways for their young minds is truly a gift.  There are things that I did not fully understand or appreciate, especially in relationship to the gospel that he will teach and it becomes clear to me.  I'm not sure how he does it, but there is always time carved out to be present.  And I mean really present.  I feel like I am constantly think of the next little task I need to do and I know David has a million next little tasks, but you don't feel that when are playing as a family.  We love you Dad!

Lots of Changes: December 6, 2020

 Over the past several months we have been looking at homes again.  We've found neighborhoods we liked, but never a home we liked in the neighborhood.  We've found homes we liked okay, but nothing that would be worth moving for, especially moving further away from David's work.  Then on October 8th I received a text from a friend telling me about a home that had come on the market two houses down from another person we know.  In our same ward, 3 streets north of our current house, so still our same school district and about the same distance to David's work.  I immediately reached out to the agent and David and I walked through the same day it was listed.  The yard was great, much larger than ours, vegetable garden, large basketball court, and trees.  At the end of a cul-de-sac.  The home inside was also much larger than ours, but it needed to be updated.  It checked all of our must haves and there was potential to make it great.  The next day we walked through with Dan Murdock (and Adrianne), a contractor and friend of ours.  He talked about all the potential in the home and how it could be great.  So, with not much time to think about it because of the crazy real estate market and other offers already coming in, we made an offer.  Our agent kindly took 1% off her commission so the offer was more appealing to the seller's and dear friends, Julie and Matt Hall, wrote a kind letter to the seller's (since they knew them) and we wrote a letter including a picture of our family.  And, somehow we ended up with the house.  When we found out, we knelt down as a family to pray, and I sobbed through the entire prayer.  I really love our little house at 2441 E Wilson Ave.  I love all our neighbors there.  

We scheduled a close date of 11/6/2020.  So, the first two weeks I went through the motions of getting financing in order to purchase the house, but I was in denial that we would really be moving.  I kept thinking we could back out at anytime.  And, Jonas was not excited to move either.  

On moving day, Jonas stopped me in the hallway and just cried in my arms.  I love his sweet, tender heart.  He said our home was the only home he liked, it was the best home.  And he was super sad to move and not have Ollie right across the street.  Porter was fine to move when he realized he could still play with Tanner, who only lives 3 streets away.  And Mason is always willing to just go with the flow.  He is pretty adaptable.

Since moving, it has been fantastic.  The yard is great.  We've played volleyball, basketball, put up the trampoline and the cul-de-sac has been fantastic.  The boys have made friends here and they all run around together outside with their masks on.  We have a beautiful view of the mountains out our front window and we can see city lights off our deck and from our dining room.

Change is always hard.  It stretches us and is not always comfortable.  But, it has been amazing to see how when we allow change to happen, there are always blessings that come.  

We have been settled into our house and have seen the hand of God.  We are not sure why this is the place we should be now, but I am pretty sure that over the coming months and years it will become apparent.  My heart tells me there are neighbors here that we will connect with and share our love of the Savior.