Ilena... I know you're the only one that reads this besides me, so you are going to hear first hand and before almost everyone else. David and I have been trying to have another baby for the past year. But, it hasn't happened. Every month I'm disappointed as I realize we'll have to wait and try again. During this past year I have never had to focus so much on the process. Throughout the waiting, I have been reminded that there is a great plan that I am not aware of. Reflecting on the last year, there are a few things that make me realize I might have gone crazy with a newborn! David became the Bishop and we have learned to transition. Honestly, it has not been a bad transition, but I think it would have definitely been more challenging with a newborn. Mason has become Mr. Independent which requires A LOT of supervision. I can't imagine sitting down to nurse a baby and having to keep track of what he was doing, getting into or destroying. So, maybe when he's closer to three there will be less of that. David rupturing his achilles and his recovery process would have been difficult with everything else going on. Lastly, I still need to figure out how to parent better and minimize the outbursts and disrespect.
With all that being said, it finally happened! I am pregnant. I'll go in for my first pre-natal appt in a week and a half. I think it's a girl. Several years ago, while in the temple, a name came to mind that I would name a daughter. This was before Mason was born, and then Mason wasn't a girl. The name has stayed on my mind and then at the end of December David and I were doing Sealings in the temple. David jokingly looked and me and said, if we hear that name tonight, then I'll agree to naming our daughter it. We've both been to the temple several times over the years and I have not heard that name since. But, of course, we heard it. David was acting as a witness, so he saw the name before I heard it. He looked up at me and I knew the name was coming up. We both got a little emotional.
Now, if I don't have a girl, it's okay. Maybe she's on the other side waiting for us to raise her there.
Last thing, today I had a lot of time to think about Faith in Christ. How has mine been strengthened? Then at church today the talks were on Faith, there was a muscial number, Peace in Christ, and the lesson in RS was on Elder Uchtdorf's talk, "Believe, Love, Do". I realized that my faith in Christ grows daily as I seek Him. When I listen to the words of hymns or church music I listen to find Him. When I go to church and listen to the lessons and talks, I listen to find Him. Moments with my boys at home, I listen to find Him. When I look around this world, I look to see Him. He is everywhere when I am open to Him. My boys laugh because I cry often and freely. I cry reading the Friend Magazine with them. I cry bearing my testimony. I cry listening to music or signing songs to them. The Holy Ghost is real and there. I love Christ.
